 Eddy: "I have been in that misery"In 1984, an article is published in a Dutch newspaper. It is written by a journalist about his addicted brother. "A heroin junkie. He does not have a job and works sometimes. He steals, lies and cheats, he wanders and sometimes has a place of his own. He goes to a clinic and then disappears. He has a relationship and then he is alone again. He is part of the guild of addicts." That ‘junkie' was Eddy Boevink. He tells us about his life and his healing process.Eddy is raised in a catholic family with five brothers and one sister. They pray before dinner and go to church on Sundays. "We lived in a house behind a large school were my father worked. There was a soccer field nearby as well as a railway switchyard and there was always construction going on. We had much freedom and fun. I have had a good childhood in a close family. We related to each other through games and humour but not in depth. I have always been a wild child. Always tried to discover how far I could go. It all went wrong when my father passed away, a week before my tenth birthday. I loved him very much. From then on, I went too far without any guidance." Excitement "The excitement of ‘scoring' drugs almost became a game for me. I do not want to make it better than it was, but it was not all misery. My addiction has also given me good memories. I have experienced many funny, almost romantic moments. For example, when I was together with friends having a soda and using heroin together... However, the misery was definitely larger than the pleasure! During my addiction, my world evolved around me. I have lost everyone during the period I was addicted. After ten years, even my mother said: ‘You cannot come home. I cannot handle it anymore.' When the door bell rang, she was always afraid to hear that her child had passed away. Isn't it terrible for a mother to have to live that way?" Misery "I then arrived at a crossroads: I could either die or live. In the Bible, God says: ‘I give you two options: death or life'. I am so glad to have chosen life. Every addict knows that he needs help. Everyone wishes to break with addiction. But I was afraid. One time, I was standing on the street and I screamed: ‘God, if you are real, please help me. You did not mean for me to die!' I had a bag full of heroin, enough money and everything I could wish for but I was spiritually shallow and I felt lonely. A friend of mine, Peter, had undergone detox and had been admitted to De Hoop. Sometimes, he sent me a copy of De Hoop Magazine and he told me he prayed for me. He also sent me a letter: ‘Maybe, you should go to De Hoop.' Eventually, I was admitted to De Hoop." Life "Currently, I am manager of De Hoop Music-Books-Gifts. Due to that deep darkness in my past, I can relate to people who are in trouble right now. I have been in that misery. Covered with plastic bags, I have slept on the streets or stair cases. It is something I never wish to forget - I even believe I must never forget that part of my life. A person is the crown of God's creation, not a piece of junk. I am married and have two wonderful kids. Looking back, I become small and God becomes large. I should have been dead but I have received life." Peter: "Eddy was my first dealer" "As a child, I always crossed the line. It started when I was at primary school. I stole some money from my father's jacket. He always had some pocket money and I used it to buy candy. We moved to Hengelo when I was in second grade of highschool. I ended up in a class with boys who stole things, such as candy, during lunch breaks. I thought that was cool and soon I joined them. I enjoyed playing sports and I became member of a soccer club. There was a gambling machine in the canteen. For me, it was paradise. It was a revelation, something new, something exciting. I discovered that I enjoyed the excitement. So, I skipped more and more classes, stole money from jackets at school and even broke into school once." Soft drugs "Around that time, I started going out more and more and started drinking, smoking and blowing. I had never smoked or drank much. However, after I had drank some glasses of coca cola mixed with whiskey, I was hooked. One day, the parents of one of my friends were on holidays for two weeks. Me and my friends could come over. After that period, I smoked pot at least three times a day. I also started to take pills, such as speed and XTC. Using made me feel good. Apart from that, there was a mystical aspect to it. It was exciting, new." Crazy brother "I hung out a lot with Eddy's brothers. We considered Eddy to be the ‘crazy brother', the heroin addict. For us, he was the perfect example of how we did not want to end up. Until I used heroin for the first time at a New Year's Eve party. That was awesome and I really felt like it was the ultimate high. I felt happy. I started using heroin more often. Because I did not know where to buy the stuff, I was fully dependent on Eddy. It went on like that for a long time. Whenever I had money, I gave that to Eddy and he would buy me heroin. When my girlfriend broke up with me, I decided to use heroin on a daily basis. I could not care less." Heroin "I was expelled from school but I managed to keep up experiences with my parents for a long time. When they found out that I had been expelled, I had to tell them about my addic-tion. Of course, they had a fright and then started solving everything for me. I let it happen because it was easy for me. My dad offered me a job and I started following ambulatory treatment and entered into a methadone prescription program. I did everything I was expected to do but I lied and cheated. Apart from methadone, I also used heroin. For that, I needed more money, so I stole it and got busted by the police. This happened several times. Coming home "Eventually, I ended up at De Hoop. It felt like coming home to me. I felt good and had the utmost confidence in becoming healthy and being able to go home again. This took eighteen months. During the time I was admitted at De Hoop, I sent Eddy a letter. I believed that he could also find help at De Hoop. Eventually, he also came to De Hoop. We have talked a lot together, still do, about faith, the choices we have made and about the future. After De Hoop, I went back to Hengelo. I got an apartment and a job. I also restored contact with my former girlfriend. We got married and now have two beautiful children. At New Life Foundation (Stichting Nieuw Leven) in Hengelo, I do volunteer work. I have been addicted and I wish to be there for other addicts, talk with them and show them where I went wrong. Last but not least, I wish to tell them that life is not hopeless, no matter how hopeless it may seem." |
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