 Mark: "I even stole money from my mother"Mark (30) has followed treatment at De Hoop for almost a year now. He has used XTC, speed and cocaine. He is planning on following an ICT training course soon and takes part in De Hoop's Supervised Independent Living Project.Mark's story - why he ended up at De Hoop - began thirteen years ago. He is seventeen years old when he gets into touch with drugs for the first time. "My friends visited house parties and some of them used XTC. I liked house music and decided to go to a house party too. There, I discovered that everybody was able to dance through the night, except for me. The second time I went, I decided to take an XTC pill too and it felt good right away. Usually, I don't say very much, but XTC made me talk to everyone!" Stimulating effect In the beginning, Mark takes one pill every three or four months. But the more house parties he visits, the more XTC he is starting to use. "Also, I needed more pills to experience the same effect. After 18 months, I was introduced to speed. This drug gives you more energy, makes you stay awake and keeps you clear. I loved it." However, the pills have a negative effect too. Marks barely sleeps and eats. "I started to look worse. I'm 1,88 meters tall, but at that time, I weighed only 56 kilos. I became depressed and failed my exams (of a technical education, ed.). I did want to learn, but studying costs money, which I used for buying drugs. So I started to work. However, I kept on losing my jobs because I reported ill too many times or because I just didn't show up." Crohn's disease One day, Mark is diagnosed with Crohn's disease, an intestinal disease. "I always had a lot of pain and I started using drugs too ease the pain too. I used more and more speed. But I was really going downhill after I was introduced to cocaine. Even though a popular name of this substance is ‘white trasher', my curiosity turned out to be strongest. The more I used it, the more I liked it. And after the rush had gone, the urge to use it again became increasingly stronger." Kicked out of the house Mark uses cocaine four days a week for a period of 18 months. "I became paranoid, was delusional and didn't go out much because of that. Meanwhile, the bank granted me a loan, which I used to pay off my dealers. I even stole money from my mother... When she found out about it, she offered me a choice: ‘You either find help, or I'll kick you out of the house.'" Mark selects the latter option, finds himself a nice house and renovates it. But in 2003, he loses his job. "I was shut off from gas and electricity and I was evicted from my home. Then my mother came to me. She had heard about De Hoop on the news and told me about it. I knew I needed support, so I applied for help." Overall picture Mark goes to Horeb for a period of eight months. Horeb is a Christian therapeutic community in Beekbergen, the Netherlands and is part of De Hoop. "I wasn't raised as a Christian, but at Horeb, I got to know the Lord God." After his stay at Horeb, Mark rents a room and lapses back into old habits. "I used speed for five years, until I applied for help at De Hoop again. I had become thirty years of age already and I used to say that I wanted to have a family at that age... But I didn't and I realized that I had to make a choice. I had to choose how to live on. De Hoop's overall picture was appealing. On the website I read that it was possible to gain work experience, have an education and learn much about the Lord God. That's what I wanted. I have so many plans now! I would like to go back to school, live on my own, etcetera. And even if it takes two years to get my life back on track, I know I will succeed if I do it with God." |
Related items |